Deep Calls to Deep

The Road Not Taken

2012-02-07T16:46:00.002-05:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the tother, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy ans wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost

2011-12-01T13:23:00.000-05:00

"Because a strong man, who has known power all his life, will lose respect for that power. But a weak man knows the value of strength. And knows compassion." -Captain America

One Art by Elizabeth Bishop

2011-11-23T14:20:00.003-05:00

The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident
the art of losing’s not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

2011-11-23T11:15:00.004-05:00

"The reason is that woundedness makes us self-absorbed. This is not hard to see in others, of course. When you begin to talk to wounded people, it is not long before they begin talking about themselves. They're so engrossed in their own pain and problems that they don't realize what they look like to others. They are not sensitive to the needs of others. They don't pick up the cues of those who are hurting, or, if they do, they only do so in a self-involved way. That is, they do so with a view of helping to "rescue' them in order to feel better about themselves. They get involved with others in an obsessive and controlling way because they are actually meeting their own needs, though they deceive themselves about this. We are always, always the last to see our self-absorption. Our hurts and wounds can make our self-centeredness even more intractable. When you point out selfish behavior to a wounded person, he or she will say,"Well, maybe so, but you don't understand what it is like." The wounds justify the behavior. -Tim Keller, "Meaning of Marriage"

If You Forget Me

2011-09-23T17:08:00.002-04:00

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

-Pablo Neruda

Love is not convincing, love is convicting.

2011-08-16T15:26:00.001-04:00

Learning this day by day! Person to person, experience to experience.

Psalm 119

2011-08-01T11:23:00.002-04:00

71 It is good for me that I was afflicted,
that I might learn your statutes.
72 The law of your mouth is better to me
than thousands of gold and silver pieces.

My grandma passed away.

2011-06-29T10:44:00.000-04:00

I wasn't really close with her or grew up with her because she was in Korea. But I'm sad. I guess for my dad and I DO remember little things about her that I am so thankful for. When Crystal was a baby, she came to America to help my mom cause my mom was working most of the time. I remember her being strong, and she stood firm and tall.

Life is so fragile. And we're all so vulnerable.

I don't know who we're all trying to fool when we try so hard to protect ourselves. But God is sovereign over this and my heart is so thankful that she is in a good place now with my Jesus.

2011-02-03T17:48:00.001-05:00

2010-10-26T12:33:00.002-04:00

Bridle of untamed colts,
Wing of straight-flying birds,
Sure helm of helpless ones,
Shepherd of the King’s sheep,
Thine own simple
Children lead
Holily to praise
Guilelessly to sing
With sinless mouths
The children’s leader, Christ.

Kind of the holy ones,
All conquering word
Of the higest Father,
Prefect of wisdom,
Support of burdens,
Rejoicing eternally,
Of the mortal race
Saviour Jesus.

Shepherd, husbandman,
Helm, bridle,
Heavenly wing
Of the hallowed flock,
Fisther of men
Who are saved,
Catching with the bait of swet life
The holy fishes
From the hostile wave
Of the sea of evil.

Lead, shepherd
Of the speaking sheep,
Lead, holy one,
King of unharmed boys,
Footprints of Christ,
Heavenly way,
Word everlasting,
Time unbounded,
Eternal light,
Font of mercy,
Doer of good,
Holy life,
God of those who sing praises,
Christ Jesus,
Heavenly milk,
Of the sweet breasts
Of the the bride of grace.

Let us sing together,
Let us sing simply
The might child,
(we) the choir of peace,
The christ-begotten,
The sober folk,
Let us sing a psalm
To the God of peace.

The classical heritage of the middle ages – page 254-255

Top of the World

2010-10-11T16:50:00.000-04:00

You don't know it, but

Sometimes, I go to a hill that overlooks
the landscape's mask of city lights
For a sip of momentary grace.
On this brink of everything I know, I can gain
An eyeful of the lost Atlantis in the human soul,
And a breath that fills my lungs with the air between two stars.

If right now, you
Were to capture this elation
In the framework of your mind,
Or find transcendance through these words,
Then at most you would know
Nothing
Of the beauty your existence throws to me.
For mine is a love no experience,
No thought, no measure, no words
Could ever degrade into reality by virtue of degree

Rider Strong

Jesus reached out his hand.

2010-10-05T23:04:00.002-04:00

"Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" And immediately the leprosy left him."

Luke 5:13

Hebrews 1:3

"He [Jesus] is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power."

These two verses really penetrates my heart. In one verse, it speaks of the power that Jesus has: that he upholds the universe by the word of his power. Wow. In another verse, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. I mean I think it's one amazing thing that leprosy left the man, but what's more amazing is Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. Since Jesus is so powerful, He could have just let the leprosy be gone, easily. EASILY. But no, our Father knows we need His touch and His hand. He knows this more than the man with leprosy could ever know. We ourselves could ever know! I'm just starting to know.

Thank you Father :*)

Judges 19: A Levite and His Concubine

2010-09-27T14:01:00.001-04:00

19:1 In those days, when there was no king in Israel, a certain Levite was sojourning in the remote parts of the hill country of Ephraim, who took to himself a concubine from Bethlehem in Judah. 2 And his concubine was unfaithful to him, and she went away from him to her father's house at Bethlehem in Judah, and was there some four months. 3 Then her husband arose and went after her, to speak kindly to her and bring her back. He had with him his servant and a couple of donkeys. And she brought him into her father's house. And when the girl's father saw him, he came with joy to meet him. 4 And his father-in-law, the girl's father, made him stay, and he remained with him three days. So they ate and drank and spent the night there. 5 And on the fourth day they arose early in the morning, and he prepared to go, but the girl's father said to his son-in-law, “Strengthen your heart with a morsel of bread, and after that you may go.” 6 So the two of them sat and ate and drank together. And the girl's father said to the man, “Be pleased to spend the night, and let your heart be merry.” 7 And when the man rose up to go, his father-in-law pressed him, till he spent the night there again. 8 And on the fifth day he arose early in the morning to depart. And the girl's father said, “Strengthen your heart and wait until the day declines.” So they ate, both of them. 9 And when the man and his concubine and his servant rose up to depart, his father-in-law, the girl's father, said to him, “Behold, now the day has waned toward evening. Please, spend the night. Behold, the day draws to its close. Lodge here and let your heart be merry, and tomorrow you shall arise early in the morning for your journey, and go home.”

10 But the man would not spend the night. He rose up and departed and arrived opposite Jebus (that is, Jerusalem). He had with him a couple of saddled donkeys, and his concubine was with him. 11 When they were near Jebus, the day was nearly over, and the servant said to his master, “Come now, let us turn aside to this city of the Jebusites and spend the night in it.” 12 And his master said to him, “We will not turn aside into the city of foreigners, who do not belong to the people of Israel, but we will pass on to Gibeah.” 13 And he said to his young man, “Come and let us draw near to one of these places and spend the night at Gibeah or at Ramah.” 14 So they passed on and went their way. And the sun went down on them near Gibeah, which belongs to Benjamin, 15 and they turned aside there, to go in and spend the night at Gibeah. And he went in and sat down in the open square of the city, for no one took them into his house to spend the night.

16 And behold, an old man was coming from his work in the field at evening. The man was from the hill country of Ephraim, and he was sojourning in Gibeah. The men of the place were Benjaminites. 17 And he lifted up his eyes and saw the traveler in the open square of the city. And the old man said, “Where are you going? And where do you come from?” 18 And he said to him, “We are passing from Bethlehem in Judah to the remote parts of the hill country of Ephraim, from which I come. I went to Bethlehem in Judah, and I am going to the house of the Lord, but no one has taken me into his house. 19 We have straw and feed for our donkeys, with bread and wine for me and your female servant and the young man with your servants. There is no lack of anything.” 20 And the old man said, “Peace be to you; I will care for all your wants. Only, do not spend the night in the square.” 21 So he brought him into his house and gave the donkeys feed. And they washed their feet, and ate and drank.

Gibeah's Crime
22 As they were making their hearts merry, behold, the men of the city, worthless fellows, surrounded the house, beating on the door. And they said to the old man, the master of the house, “Bring out the man who came into your house, that we may know him.” 23 And the man, the master of the house, went out to them and said to them, “No, my brothers, do not act so wickedly; since this man has come into my house, do not do this vile thing. 24 Behold, here are my virgin daughter and his concubine. Let me bring them out now. Violate them and do with them what seems good to you, but against this man do not do this outrageous thing.” 25 But the men would not listen to him. So the man seized his concubine and made her go out to them. And they knew her and abused her all night until the morning. And as the dawn began to break, they let her go. 26 And as morning appeared, the woman came and fell down at the door of the man's house where her master was, until it was light.

27 And her master rose up in the morning, and when he opened the doors of the house and went out to go on his way, behold, there was his concubine lying at the door of the house, with her hands on the threshold. 28 He said to her, “Get up, let us be going.” But there was no answer. Then he put her on the donkey, and the man rose up and went away to his home. 29 And when he entered his house, he took a knife, and taking hold of his concubine he divided her, limb by limb, into twelve pieces, and sent her throughout all the territory of Israel. 30 And all who saw it said, “Such a thing has never happened or been seen from the day that the people of Israel came up out of the land of Egypt until this day; consider it, take counsel, and speak.”

21:25 In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.

This is one of my fav passages! haha

All that is gold does not glitter

2010-09-23T16:09:00.002-04:00

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

John Ronald Reuel Tolkien

Amazing. Amazing Grace.

2010-09-21T16:18:00.000-04:00

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

My Deliverer

2010-09-15T16:29:00.001-04:00

I will wait for You to move
For Your mighty hand to save
When the trouble water rise
You are my hiding place
You are my hiding place

You walls are salvation
Your gates are praise

My Deliverer
My Deliverer
My Deliverer
Is the Lord

Who is like You mighty God
Who can take me from Your hand
As I walk with You in freedom
You're the Rock on which I stand
You're the Rock on which I stand

-Chris Tomlin

2010-09-13T16:29:00.000-04:00

As having nothing, yet possessing everything.

2010-09-02T23:20:00.003-04:00

6:1 Working together with him, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain. 2 For he says,

“In a favorable time I listened to you,
and in a day of salvation I have helped you.”

Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation. 3 We put no obstacle in anyone's way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, 4 but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, 5 beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; 6 by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; 7 by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; 8 through honor and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; 9 as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; 10 as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything.

11 We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open. 12 You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections. 13 In return (I speak as to children) widen your hearts also

2 Corinthians 6:1-13

Make me a servant.

2010-08-23T14:55:00.003-04:00

Make me a servant
Humble and meek
Lord let me lift up
Those who are weak
And may the prayer of my heart always be

Make me a servant
Make me a servant
Make me a servant today.

--

"But the meek shall inherit the land
and delight themselves in abundant peace."
Psalm 37:11

--

i carry your heart

2010-08-13T13:53:00.001-04:00

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

-ee cummings

since feeling is first

2010-08-06T09:47:00.002-04:00

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;

wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
- the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for eachother; then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

-ee cummings

Fool with a Fancy Guitar

2010-07-28T15:24:00.001-04:00

It’s so easy to cash in these chips on my shoulder
So easy to loose this old tongue like a tiger
It’s easy to let all this bitterness smolder
Just to hide it away like a cigarette lighter

It’s easy to curse and to hurt and to hinder
It’s easy to not have the heart to remember
That I am a priest and a prince in the Kingdom of God

I’ve got voices that scream in my head like a siren
Fears that I feel in the night when I sleep
Stupid choices I made when I played in the mire
Like a kid in the mud on some dirty blind street

I’ve got sorrow to spare, I’ve got loneliness too
I’ve got blood on these hands that hold on to the truth
That I am a priest and a prince in the Kingdom of God

I swore on the Bible to not tell a lie
But I’ve lied and lied
And I’ve crossed my heart and I hoped to die
And I’ve died and died

But if it’s true that you gathered my sin in your hand
And you cast it as far as the east from the west
If it’s true that you put on the flesh of a man
And you walked in my shoes through the shadow of death

If it’s true that you dwell in the halls of my heart
Then I’m not just a fool with a fancy guitar
No, I am a priest and a prince in the Kingdom of God

2010-06-14T12:18:00.002-04:00

From Sam's Post, thank you smayi:

The questions that truly matter in life are remarkably few, and they are all answered by these words— “Come to Me.” Our Lord’s words are not, “Do this, or don’t do that,” but— “Come to me."

– Oswald Chambers

2010-06-09T12:53:00.001-04:00

American Dream

2010-05-24T17:38:00.003-04:00

We can preach against pursuing the American dream, but until we deal with why we are held captive to it, our sermons will not produce permanent, lasting change. Like a moth to a flame, our hearts will be drawn back to the lure of the dream.

The definition of the American dream, I think, is that money is essential and the optimal way to security and to pleasure. Jesus dealt directly with the American dream in Matthew 6. He explained that most people who live for money do so for 1 of 2 reasons: (1) some think is a source to beauty, significance, and pleasure; (2) others because they think money is a source of security.

Jesus addressed these 2 kinds of people with 2 examples. To those who find beauty and significance and pleasure in money, He said, “Be like the flowers . . . they don’t worry about beauty, because God makes them beautiful.” To those who find security in money, He said, “Be like the birds. They don’t worry about money, because God makes them secure.” In other words, God is a better way to both beauty and security than money is.

When Jesus has become your beauty (when knowing Him and pleasing Him has become your greatest delight) and when He has become your security (you know that He will take care of your future and all you need to do is obey Him today), then you will be free to follow Him wherever He tells you. You will no longer require nice things and creature comforts to enjoy life; you will no longer require huge sums of money in saving to feel secure. And as your heart is overwhelmed with the grace that God has shown you in the Gospel, you’ll find that there’s nothing you’d rather do with your money than help people find Jesus. That is what will give you the greatest pleasure, and that’s what you’ll consider to be the wisest and most secure investment.
Source: http://www.jdgreear.com/my_weblog/2010/05/why-many-of-us-can%E2%80%99t-live-%E2%80%9Cradically%E2%80%9D-with-abandon-in-pursuit-of-the-great-commission.html

Founder of Jews for Jesus

2010-05-24T16:11:00.001-04:00

http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/rayortlund/2010/05/24/moishe-rosen-1932-2010/
This article was great and encouraging.

---

Moishe Rosen, founder of Jews for Jesus, has been released from this life and is with the Lord he served so courageously.

I remember him when he was still Martin Rosen. He and his wife Ceil came to our home for Sunday dinner one time in the early 1960s. My dad and he were dear friends and allies for the spread of the gospel.

In the late 1960s, during those wonderful times of radicalization, Martin became Moishe and took the gospel to the streets in bold new ways through Jews for Jesus. One time, when JforJ was coming to our church, my dad got a call that the church would be picketed. Dad loved that. He told the caller, “We’ll serve the picketers coffee and donuts. We’ll set out folding chairs. Wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable.” They didn’t show, unfortunately. Moishe did. He preached the gospel with humor and gentle passion. He literally expected us believers in Jesus to be witnesses to our unbelieving friends. Imagine that.

Moishe refused to back down about Jesus being the only way to God for all people, including Jewish people. He took that stand out of love for Jesus and love for Jewish people. He was hated for it by some, both Jew and Gentile. Well, good for him. As Jesus himself reasoned, what if prophet-haters liked you (Matthew 5:10-12)?

In fact, Moishe mentioned to me once that he had a scar on his arm where some lady attacked him with scissors “to do God a favor,” as he wryly put it. Typical Moishe. Dry, self-deprecating, blunt, right-on.

I loved this man. Now he and my dad are pals again. With Jesus. Wish I were there.

Winter Snow

2010-05-21T12:19:00.001-04:00

Could've come like a mighty storm
With all the strength of a hurricane
You could've come like a forest fire
With the power of Heaven in Your flame

But You came like a winter snow
Quiet and soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below

You could've swept in like a tidal wave
Or an ocean to ravish our hearts
You could have come through like a roaring flood
To wipe away the things we've scarred

But You came like a winter snow, yes, You did
You were quiet, You were soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below

Ooh no, Your voice wasn't in a bush burning
No, Your voice wasn't in a rushing wind
It was still, it was small, it was hidden

Oh, You came like a winter snow
Quiet and soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below

Falling, oh yeah, to the earth below
You came falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below

2010-05-17T14:23:00.003-04:00

Isaiah 53

¹Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed? ²For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.³He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.⁴Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.⁵But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. ⁶All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. ⁷He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth. ⁸He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.⁹And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth. ¹⁰Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand. ¹¹He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities. ¹²Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

The LORD of hosts is WITH us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

2010-04-20T13:57:00.000-04:00

1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,

3 though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High.

5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.

6 The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts.

7 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come, behold the works of the LORD, how he has brought desolations on the earth.

9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire.

10 "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"

11 The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Psalm 46

When we miss golden eggs.

2010-04-07T14:12:00.000-04:00

A few days ago, a friend asked me about an experience that made me want to throw up.

The event was something that happened a year ago. I’ve written about it before but his question sparked something new.

We were at an Easter egg hunt at my in-law’s country club. We go every year and this is no minor hunt. The main difference is that in each field of eggs, they hide a few golden ones. If you find a golden egg you can turn it in and get a massive Easter basket with candy and toys and stuffed animals.

So while we were waiting for the host of the event to blow the horn and let my then five year old daughter L.E. run into the field, I spotted a golden egg about 15 feet away. I pointed it out to L.E. and told her that when the horn sounded she should run at it. She was really excited and focused all her bubbling pre-school energy on getting that egg.

Unfortunately, so did another little girl.

When the horn sounded, L.E. took off, and she was almost there, but she was half a step too slow. She slipped, fell in the mud and watched as the other little girl got the egg.

She got up and collected a few regular eggs half heartedly. When it was all over, she took a look at the other girl’s family celebrating their golden egg and then collapsed in my arms and started weeping.

Do you know what I did in that moment? Do you know what I told her?

I told her I didn’t want to hold her. I told her that she had failed and that she had to fix the situation before I would look at her again. I told her I was disappointed that she was constantly making the same mistakes over and over again and that she needed to live with the consequences of her actions until she figured out how to fix things.

OK, that’s not what I told her at all.

I held her close and let her cry. I told her it was OK. That she was special and beautiful and that we can get mud out of Easter dresses. I told her it was going to be alright.

That was my reaction when L.E. fell. That was my reaction when L.E. failed. So why do we think God will react differently?

Why when we fail, why when we fall into the mud and miss the target, do we think God is angry at us? That he pushes us away and wants us to buck up and clean up before we try to come back into his presence?

What if we’re wrong about God? What if He’s a better father than Jon Acuff is? What if his heart breaks when we fall down, not out of disappointment, but shared sadness with us? What if weeping on his shoulder is all we need to do today?

You could argue that L.E. missing the egg wasn’t a sin and I’d agree. But the times when she does break a rule at home, the times when she lies, the times when she does willfully step away from some family agreement, I don’t tell her to fix herself before she returns. I might discipline out of love, but I never push her away or lock her out of the house or shut her out of my heart until she’s made the situation right.

And I’m just a human father! A broken, prone to stumble father. Imagine how beautiful our God’s reaction is. Christ touches on this in Luke 11:

“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

I don’t know where your life is right now. I don’t know if you’re in the middle of a divorce or mountain of credit card debt or had a dad that would have yelled at you for missing the golden egg. I don’t know how muddy you are or how many times you’ve fallen this year or this life. But I do know one thing, we serve a God who we are told longs to show you compassion.

A God who holds muddy kids.

A God who wants to hold you.

Source:
http://stuffchristianslike.net/2010/04/2732/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+stuffchristianslikeblog+%28Stuff+Christians+Like+-+Jon+Acuff%29

Beauty for ashes.

2010-04-07T11:12:00.002-04:00

"And provide for those who grieve in Zion--
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor."
Isaiah 61:3

According to what he has done.

2010-03-22T15:26:00.001-04:00

Psalm 62

For the director of music. For Jeduthun. A psalm of David.

¹ My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.

² He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

³ How long will you assault a man?
Would all of you throw him down—
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?

⁴ They fully intend to topple him
from his lofty place;
they take delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.
Selah

⁵ Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.

⁶ He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

⁷ My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

⁸ Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Selah

⁹ Lowborn men are but a breath,
the highborn are but a lie;
if weighed on a balance, they are nothing;
together they are only a breath.

¹⁰ Do not trust in extortion
or take pride in stolen goods;
though your riches increase,
do not set your heart on them.

¹¹ One thing God has spoken,
two things have I heard:
that you, O God, are strong,

¹² and that you, O Lord, are loving.
Surely you will reward each person
according to what he has done.

2010-03-15T15:49:00.001-04:00

"Whom God would use greatly He will hurt deeply." -A. W. Tozer

I just came back from a retreat

2010-03-12T16:35:00.011-05:00

and the speaker mentioned that what we want most is not forgiveness, but understanding. We just want to be right.
How true is that?

There are not a lot of people in my life that I DO feel understood by.
But who will justify me? Us? Who will see that I am unworthy to be justified but choose to send His son? For me? For us?

Only Him.

All My Love.

I can’t perceive or understand the kindness of your hand
Or the mercy in your eyes as you forgave my crimes
You made daybreak through the night,
You made my heart to shine. i took my breath, you gave me life
I could not see, you gave me sight
Your fellowship is free, you hold on to me,
You washed me in the truth and you made this desert bloom
I can’t perceive or understand
The kindness of your hand
Or the mercy in your eyes as you forgave my crimes

-The bridge part of "All My Love" by Charlie Hall

God is happy.

2010-03-01T11:48:00.001-05:00

So often we think of God as non-enthusiastic or even gloomy. The exact opposite is true: He loves to be God, He takes great pleasure in all that He does, and He is enthusiastic about serving His people and working for their welfare. For example, God says in Jeremiah 32:41: "I will rejoice in doing them good." Jesus said in John 14:11, "These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you." And Paul writes in 1 Timothy 1:11 of "the glorious gospel of the blessed God." Blessed means happy. So Paul is saying: "the glorious gospel of the happy God."

God is infinitely happy because he is infinitely glorious. And, the good news is that he invites us to enter into his happiness. Here is what Piper writes in The Pleasures of God (p. 26): "It is good news that God is gloriously happy. No one would want to spend eternity with an unhappy God. If God is unhappy then the goal of the gospel is not a happy goal, and that means it would be no gospel at all. But, in fact, Jesus invites us to spend eternity with a happy God when he says, ‘Enter into the joy of your master' (Matthew 25:23). Jesus lived and died that his joy-God's joy-might be in us and our joy might be full (John 15:11; 17:13). Therefore the gospel is ‘the gospel of the glory of the happy God.'"

http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/698_god_is_happy/

Snow

2010-02-25T15:58:00.001-05:00

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I can't sing loud enough

2010-02-24T10:29:00.000-05:00

i'm walking through the bright white gates
breathing in and out your grace
all around me melodies rise
that echo with the joy inside
so i start to sing
but i cant sing loud enough
i can't sing loud enough
when i'm singing for You my God
i can't sing loud enough
i can't sing loud enough
when i'm singing for You my God
with a thunder roll and a brilliant light
your glory boasts and the heavens shine
the saints and angels stand in awe
captured by the beauty of it all
so i fall to my knees
but i can't bow low enough
i can't bow low enough
at the vision of You my God
i can't bow low enough
i can't bow low enough
at the vision of You my God
i can't hold it all inside
i'm reaching for the One who brought me out of death and into life
but i can't lift my hands high enough
life my hands high enough
when i'm reaching for You my God
i can't lift my hands high enough
life my hands high enough
when i'm reaching for You my God
oh i'm reaching for You my God
i'm reaching for You
i'm reaching for You
i'm reaching for You my God

Grace in Choice.

2010-02-19T10:40:00.002-05:00

I recently talked with a friend about how much tension there is in the bible and that she was struggling with how it was so contradictory. Like "faith with works" versus "faith with grace". I thank God that the bible isnt for children and that I have the grace in choice to seek and sink in the complexity. Who is man to understand and know the mind of God?

Not I.

2010-02-17T23:34:00.006-05:00

"Wait for the Lord
and keep his way."
Psalm 37:14a

I am learning to do this, with daily faithfulness. Lord, help me to start with the small things to the big things. May I have persistence, hope, sacrifice!

Kat got married yesterday.

2010-02-07T23:39:00.008-05:00

It's a bittersweet moment.
:)
I am so happy for Kat & Jerry.
I pray that you guys will both take up the cross daily, glorifying Him in yalls marriage!
<3

Do you ever feel like you're walking on wires?

2010-01-30T23:09:00.007-05:00

[Photo for dlaevee muahaha]

*UPDATE*
Thought I should explain this entry haha.

When I visualize living through my life right now, I see myself walking on wires.

The more I get older I realize how imbalanced this world is. But here all are, we strive to be in balance, walking on wires, trying not to look down, and doing the best we can to look forward. Or are we? Sometimes we just want to give up. We wonder, what could even be at the end of the wires? What if we end up walking on wires and it just never ends?

The more I get older I realize how imbalanced my heart is. There is so much pulling and I slip quickly. Sin is a dangerous, blinding, slippery slope. Too much of this. Too few of this.

But somehow, by God's divine purpose, I found the answer. No, I found Him finding me. He's with me helping me through, and at the end of wires, I'll see Him.

But somehow, by God's grace, there are some people around me and they are blindfolded. As I am awakened to this I also witness God's amazing hands holding them, just slightly so they don't fall, but enough so there's no will-less enforcement.

Speechless.
Teach me Father God,
to obey You as you called us to "make disciples of all nations." [Matthew 28:19]

SADNESS

2010-01-27T11:31:00.004-05:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/31/nyregion/31suicides.html

This article makes me incredibly sad. But I truly believe that God is mighty to save. I pray that this article encourages me, and others, to keep pressing on to witness and to be a witness, of God's power and salvation for us. He is our Emmanuel, which means God with us.

R.C. Sproul interview with Mark Driscoll.

2010-01-25T13:32:00.004-05:00

http://theresurgence.com/rc-sproul-full-interview

And an article by Sproul:
This article is both rebuking and encouraging.

Time Well Spent (excerpt)
By R.C. Sproul

Time is the great leveler. It is one resource that is allocated in absolute egalitarian terms. Every living person has the same number of hours to use in every day. Busy people are not given a special bonus added on to the hours of the day. The clock plays no favorites.

We all have an equal measure of time in every day. Where we differ from one another is in how we redeem the time allotted. When something is redeemed it is rescued or purchased from some negative condition. The basic negative condition we are concerned with is the condition of waste. To waste time is to spend it on that which has little or no value.

I am a time waster. When I think of the time I have wasted over the course of my life, I am hounded by remorse. This guilt is not a false one fostered by an overactive work ethic. The guilt is real because the time I have wasted is real time.

The late Vince Lombardi introduced the adage, “I never lost a game, I just ran out of time.” This explanation points to one of the most dramatic elements of sports—the race against the clock. The team that is most productive in the allotted time is the team that wins the game. Of course, in sports, unlike life, there are provisions for calling time-out. The clock in a sports contest can be temporarily halted. But in real life there are no timeouts…

Given my propensity to waste time, I have learned a few tricks to help me beat the clock. They may be helpful to some of you.

First, I realize that all of my time is God’s time and all of my time is my time by His delegation. God owns me and my time. Yet, He has given me a measure of time over which I am a steward. I can commit that time to work for other people, visit other people, etc. But it is time for which I must give an account.

Second, time can be redeemed by concentration and focus. One of the greatest wastes of time occurs in the human mind. Our hands may be busy but our minds idle. Likewise, our hands may be idle while our minds are busy. Woolgathering, day-dreaming, and indulging in frivolous fantasy are ways in which thoughts may be wasted in real time. To focus our minds on the task at hand—with fierce concentration—makes for productive use of time.

Third, the mind can redeem valuable time taken up by ordinary or mechanical functions. For example, the mechanics of taking a shower are not difficult. In this setting the mind is free for problem solving, creative thinking, or the composition of themes. Many of my messages and lectures are germinated in the shower. When I used to play a lot of golf, I found that the time I had between shots was a great time for composing messages in my mind.

Fourth, use your leisure time for pursuits that are life enriching. Leisure time is often spent on avocations. Reading is a valuable use of time. It enriches life to read outside of your major field or area of expertise. Augustine once advised believers to learn as much as possible about as many things as possible, since all truth is God’s truth. Other avocations that are enriching include the arts. I like to study the piano and I dabble in painting. No one will ever mistake me for a serious musician or an accomplished artist. But these avocations open up the world of beauty to me that enhances my view of God and His manifold perfections. I also enjoy working cross-word puzzles to warm up the little gray cells and to expand my vista of verbal expression.

Fifth, find ways to cheat the “Sand Man.” Several years ago I had an epiphany about time management. Though my life-long pattern had been to stay up late at night I realized that for me, the hours between 9–12 p.m. were not very productive. I reasoned that if I used those hours to sleep I might secure more time for more productive things. Since then my habit has been to retire between 8–9 p.m. when possible and rise at 4 a.m. This has effected a wonderful revolution for my schedule. The early hours of the day are a time free from distractions and interruptions, a marvelous time for study, writing, and prayer….

Sixth, use drive-time for learning. Driving a car is another mechanical function that allows the mind to be alert to more than what is happening on the roadway. The benefits of audio tape can be put to great use during these times. I can listen to lectures and instructional tapes while driving, thereby redeeming the time.

Finally, in most cases a schedule is more liberating than restricting. Working with a schedule helps enormously to organize our use of time. The schedule should be a friend, not an enemy. I find it freeing in that the schedule can include time for leisure, recreation, and avocation. It helps us find the rhythm for a God-glorifying productive life.

-----------

[The article “Time Well Spent: Right Now Counts Forever” was written by Dr. R.C. Sproul and published in Tabletalk magazine (September 1997, pp. 4–7). This excerpt is reprinted by the kind permission of Ligonier Ministries.]

Tear down the walls.

2010-01-25T12:48:00.002-05:00

Tear down the walls see the world
Is there something we have missed
Turn from ourselves
Look beyond
There is so much more than this

And I don't need to see it to believe it
I don't need to see it to believe it
Cause I can't shake this
Fire deep inside my heart

Look to the skies hope arise
See His majesty revealed
More than this life there is love
There is hope and this is real

Cause I don't need to see it to believe it
I don't need to see it to believe it
Cause I can't shake this fire burning
Deep inside my heart

This life is Yours and hope is rising
As Your glory floods our hearts
Let love tear down these walls
That all creation would
Come back to You
It's all for You

Your Name is glorious
Glorious
Your love is changing us
Calling us
To worship in spirit and in truth
As all creation returns to You

Oh for all the sons and daughters
Who are walking in the darkness
You are calling us to lead them back to You
We will see Your spirit rising
As the lost come out of hiding
Every heart will see this hope we have in You

2010-01-22T21:18:00.001-05:00

John Piper's twitter today:

"Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns but will not encourage us to mistake them for home." CS Lewis

"You are the helper of the fatherless."

2010-01-21T10:48:00.001-05:00

Psalm 10:14b

Everyone needs a Paul, Timothy, and Barnabas.

2010-01-03T16:06:00.004-05:00

I heard from someone that everyone needs a "Paul" (Someone that leads/disciplines/rebuke you), "Timothy" (Someone you lead/discipline/rebuke), and "Barnabas" (Someone to walk together with accountability) in their lives.

Jesus,
Help me to submit to authority and leader.
Help me to lead a younger person, with full commitment and humility.
Help me to be vulnerable and learn to grow with my accountability partners.

I want to go here.

2010-01-02T20:28:00.000-05:00

This is crazy.

2009-12-31T09:41:00.004-05:00

http://blogs.reuters.com/global/2009/12/30/interview-with-north-korea-border-crosser-robert-park/

God is moving.

And today I read Psalm 145 and verse 15 says:

The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time.

Amen to that. Everything in His time is glorious.

This blog is on a hiatus.

2009-12-30T13:45:00.005-05:00

Actually I am on a hiatus.

Prayer doesn't make my life less busy but my heart less busy.

Need to pray.

And I'm freee
Free fallin'
Free fallin'

Frozen Grand Central

2009-12-28T20:23:00.000-05:00

No words, just pictures.

2009-12-28T16:16:00.008-05:00

New York, New York, the Least Happiest.

2009-12-21T15:25:00.006-05:00

[Article link from NYT: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/22/nyregion/22nyc.html]

So, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention came out with a list that ranked the happiest states. 1.3 million Americans across the nation were asked how satisfied they were with their lives. Here's their rankings:

HAPPIEST RANKINGS

The state-by-state list (including Washington, D.C.), from happiest to least cheery:

1. Louisiana
2. Hawaii
3. Florida
4. Tennessee
5. Arizona
6. South Carolina
7. Mississippi
8. Montana
9. Alabama
10. Maine
11. Wyoming
12. Alaska
13. North Carolina
14. South Dakota
15. Texas
16. Idaho
17. Vermont
18. Arkansas
19. Georgia
20. Utah
21. Oklahoma
22. Delaware
23. Colorado
24. New Mexico
25. North Dakota
26. Minnesota
27. Virginia
28. New Hampshire
29. Wisconsin
30. Oregon
31. Iowa
32. Kansas
33. Nebraska
34. West Virginia
35. Kentucky
36. Washington
37. District of Columbia
38. Missouri
39. Nevada
40. Maryland
41. Pennsylvania
42. Rhode Island
43. Ohio
44. Massachusetts
45. Illinois
46. California
47. New Jersey
48. Indiana
49. Michigan
50. Connecticut
51. New York

New York is the least happiest. This must be so heartbreaking for God!
Let's all pray and continue to fight the good fight, give thanks, find joy in the cross, and love our Father with everything we have!

Suffering is a gift.

2009-12-20T19:17:00.009-05:00

Philippians 1:29 Two gifts of God most don't want. Faith: Because we want to cause it ourselves. Suffering: Because it hurts.
(twitter.com/johnpiper)

I am learning more and more the value of long-suffering. I have to admit, most of the times I would not be able to say suffering is a gift from Him, but I pray Jesus will stretch my heart out, more of His heart, more to His glory, less of me...so hard though...cuz I'm such a sinner.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas RWC from Remnant Westside on Vimeo.

2009-12-14T22:17:00.003-05:00

Repentance is killing the habit that is killing you without killing yourself.

Glorious. Thank You Jesus.

There but for the grace of God, go I.

2009-12-08T13:23:00.001-05:00

There but for the grace of God go I

Oh no money in his pocket
And no hope in his eyes

Oh but who am I if not for the grace of God

And there are those who when they pray they move their feet
There are those who when they pray they face to the East
There are some who pray when trouble comes
And they're left there to face the beast
Hey from within

Hey but who am I if not for the grace of God

Who am I

Thankful for my eyes I see
Thankful for my eyes I'm not the man I used to be
Thank you for my voice I let it sing
I'm gonna raise it up let it ring
Who am I
Who am I but for the grace of God

So who am I but not for the grace of God,
There go I, there go I, there go I, there go I

There go I

-Martin Sexton

How to not be How to.

2009-12-07T11:02:00.014-05:00

Hosea 2

The LORD’s Mercy on Israel

¹⁴"Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
and bring her into the wilderness,
and speak tenderly to her.
¹⁵And there I will give her her vineyards
and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,
as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt.

¹⁶"And in that day, declares the LORD, you will call me 'My Husband,' and no longer will you call me 'My Baal.' ¹⁷For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and they shall be remembered by name no more. ¹⁸And I will make for them a covenant on that day with the beasts of the field, the birds of the heavens, and the creeping things of the ground. And I will abolish the bow, the sword, and war from the land, and I will make you lie down in safety. ¹⁹And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. ²⁰I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD.
²¹"And in that day I will answer, declares the LORD,
I will answer the heavens,
and they shall answer the earth,
²²and the earth shall answer the grain, the wine, and the oil,
and they shall answer Jezreel,

²³and I will sow her for myself in the land.
And I will have mercy on No Mercy,
and I will say to Not My People 'You are my people';
and he shall say, 'You are my God.'"

----------------
The book I'm reading "When people are big and God is small" by Welch says this: "As a counselor I live in a "how to " world. A depressed person talks with me because he or she wants to know how to get rid of depression. Couples don't feel any romance in their relationship. They want to know how to have that spark again. Sometimes, I confess, I speak more about the "how to" than about God. ...Don't get me wrong. I think that the application of Scripture to the details of our lives is great. My observation, however, is that these principles are not always embedded in the fear of the Lord. The result is that our goal can be self-improvement rather than the glory of the Holy God."(p 96)

Pastor Bruce gave the sermon this past Sunday about how in this passage God declares that He is our husband. I'm so used to hearing that God is our Saviour, Father, Redeemer...which He is, but Him being my Husband puts a different light on it. I have to admit, like Welch says, sometimes I get caught up with the "How-To"s and "To Do" and "Not To Do" and "chicken soup for the young adult christian" mentality, leaving little or no room for God's character and heart. But man! Reading this passage...God is so intimate and so personal! Verse 23: "And I will say to Not My People 'You are my people." I pray that I remember and love who God is, my husband, my Father, my redeemer.
----------------

i love adele. :)

Mary & Martha

2009-12-01T00:27:00.003-05:00

EDIT

I really am like Martha below. Such a busybody or busythinking. Sara and I are doing a fast from GCHAT and FACEBOOK and we were discussing about how hard it is for us to ....step away from the computer. doh. like right now. okay i guess blogging isnt too bad. but seriously, how has technology become our idol in this generation so quickly and dangerously, unknowingly...addicting? Sometimes I look at the clock after I've been web surfing and its three hours later. SAD.

Okay, I'm gonna make use of the time I have now that I'm not on gchat and facebook.
FIRST: QUIET TIME. with my Lord.
SECOND: I reading this book with Sara: "When People are Big and God is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man" By Ed Welch
THIRD: Learn more worship songs
FOURTH: COOK
FIFTH: my portfolio.

Does any of yall have any book/music recommendations?

/EDIT

At the Home of Martha and Mary

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Luke 10:38-42

--

I am Martha. I get so distracted by the "preparations" and "doings" that I don't really sit at the feet of my Savior. The louder and more active I get doesn't mean by heart is in repentance.

Lord,
May I kneel not just with my knees
or with my words through this blog,
but in my heart too.

dajung.

Give Thanks.

2009-11-28T23:41:00.006-05:00

Give thanks for He is good, His love endures forever.
Psalm 118:1

There are so many things to be thankful for. This past year and the years before. Now that I finally hit the big 2-5, haha, I am beginning to see more and more of God's gracious hands envelope over my life, and on this earth.

And it's overwhelming because its so much. Its like that quote from American Beauty--"...it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life..."

Things I am thankful for:
-Family: I have such great parents. I continue to learn so much about passion and compassion from them.
-Food: I think I'm so blessed with the food I have to eat everyday..especially in New York. It's so expensive here, and yet for 7 years of living here God provided. Thank you God. For the expensive meals and cheap ones like Wendys and Chicken and Rice. Haha.
-Clothes: I am so thankful that I have clothes to wear, and even the choices of shopping. Not a lot of people have this privilege of shopping at soho, or at malls, or even online. I am so glad that I have shoes to wear and socks and scarves when it gets cold.
-My sister's guitar: I'm an amateur at playing guitar and I don't even have my own, but I'm glad I get to use it with my sisters' kindness. Love learning news songs and worshiping with it.
-Friends: I am so amazed at how I see God's love and character through friends. At my church Remnant, in Jersey, in Florida. More and more, I see how God's perfect time and plan is unraveling as we're getting older. I truly see what's happening to all of us like the David Crowder Song.

"And what was said to the rose to make it unfold, was said to me, here in my chest so be quiet now and rest." (Here is Our King)

Oh Lord,
How can I not give You praise? My mouth sings with a new song, and declares You are worthy and holy.

OH BTW.
PS.
For those that are reading this "note" because this gets RSS fed into facebook...
I will be fasting from facebook and gchat..till December 19th. So if you see me on them, you have every right to yell at me! LOL [Contact me through email and phone]
PSS.
SARA. I think I'm getting a cold. UGHHH. noOOOoo.

Sesame street FTW.

2009-11-24T23:09:00.001-05:00

HAHA. LOVE IT.

He who has been forgiven little, loves little.

2009-11-23T14:19:00.011-05:00

Jesus Anointed by a Sinful Woman (Luke 7)

³⁶Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. ³⁷When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, ³⁸and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

--
I will be doing devotionals with D.A. Carsons' For the Love of God: A Daily Companion for Discovering the Riches of God's Word

He first introduces the book that we should read the Word as a prayer, not just a way to fix our lives. I pray that I will hunger and seek for His presence, more than just answers.

Carson comments on the above passage that, "on the human plane, the only one who can forgive is the injured party. From God's perspective, of course, regardless of how many human beings are injured, the primary offense is against God himself (cf. Ps. 51:4=" Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge.) Thus God can forgive any sin, because he is always the injured party."

Father,
I want to be like the woman.
I see the depth of my sins.
But I am blind to how much deeper it can be.
My sins are deep,
but Your love is deeper.

I need to be forgiven.

Forgive me-!

R.I.P. Daul Kim

2009-11-19T22:12:00.008-05:00

article: 20 year old model Daul Kim was found dead today in her apartment in Paris.
(and this is her blog)

I saw on someone's facebook status about this news. I didn't know who she was until today, but it's such tragic news. I wonder...what her family is going through. I wonder what her friends are going through.

Father come save us.

Save us from our loneliness.
Save us from our drunkenness.
Save us from our nonsense.
Save us from our awards.
Save us from our competitions.
Save us from our failures.
Save us from our jobs.
Save us from our money.
Save us from our friendships.
Save us from our relationships.
Save us from our families.
Save us from structures of church.
Save us from music.
Save us from emotions.
Save us from science.
Save us from charm.
Save us from intelligence.
Save us from beauty.
Save us from facebook.
Save us from twitter.
Save us from blogging.

Find us in our brokenness.
Find us having found You.

Jesus,
we long
we thirst
for You.
Nothing can satisfy or save but You.
Please come...

Grace, I call Your name.

2009-11-19T00:04:00.005-05:00

The sky is grey and the light is far
The sea is a rage within my heart
I turn my sight to the crashing waves
I cry in the night just to be saved

I need eyes to be my guide
I need a voice that’s louder than mine
I need hope I need You
Cause I can’t do this alone

Grace I call Your name
Oh won’t Your smile fall over me
I’m cracked and dry on hands and knees
Oh sweet grace rain down on me I need You grace

I pray for dawn a new day to live
I pray for mercy only Jesus gives
Though darkness falls and a million cry
I believe over all there’s a greater light shining for us

-Phil Wickham
--
This is my song right now, God.
My feeble fingers hold onto the ledge of Your great grace.

I never liked Jazz music.

2009-11-16T14:49:00.001-05:00

"I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.

After that I liked jazz music.

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.

I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened."
— Donald Miller (Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality)

"There is something beautiful about a billion stars held steady by a God who knows what He is doing. (They hang there, the stars, like notes on a page of music, free-form verse, silent mysteries swirling in the blue like jazz.) And as I lay there, it occurred to me that God is up there somewhere. Of course, I had always known He was, but this time I felt it, I realized it, the way a person realizes they are hungry or thirsty. The knowledge of God seeped out of my brain and into my heart. I imagined Him looking down on this earth, half angry because His beloved mankind had cheated on Him, had committed adultery, and yet hopelessly in love with her, drunk with love for her."
— Donald Miller

You.

2009-11-16T12:54:00.000-05:00

You find me when I'm hiding behind all my disguises. You see me. It takes you to keep me breathing. You are heart. Passion. Vision. Word Incision.
You send me and you bring me close
Close close closer
Until when you look at me you see you
You are heavenly. My present and future destiny. You are Father. Creator. Sustainer. Life changer. Pride breaker. You are yesterday today and forever. You are pleasure. You are worth. Reason. Present in every season. You are worship. Devotion.
You are the reason for all my commotion
You are the one that I pray to
You can tell that I'm nothing without you
So awesome that I can pray to you about you
To know you. To sense you. To believe you more. To love you more. To obey you more. To give you more of my heart.
Oh God search me
Know me. See me. Examine me. Test me. Love me. Watch me. Protect me. Show me. Investigate me. Be pleased with me. Question me. Keep me. Change me. Have me. Correct me. Take me. Help me. Create in me. Break in on me. Be my reality. Sustain me.
Decrease me
Decrease me
Decrease me
Decrease me
Until there is no me left
Only you
Only you
Only you
You are light. Are true. Are you. Are hope. Are love. Are strength. Are escape rescue safe. You are peace. You are belief. You are advance and retreat. Of what, to what, to whom can I compare you?
You are my all things new. You are my place of refuge. You are my fortress. My rest.
My creativity in the strength of your words to me. You are my ability to see hear feel move live breathe be. You are life and death all at the same time
You are friend
You are believer savior redeemer
You are today tomorrow and the next day
And the next day and the next day and the next day
You are truth
You transcend old age and youth
You are timeless
priceless
lightness in darkness
greatness
goodness
sinless
And in a mess like my life you see righteousness
You leave me speechless

You alone are God.

By: Amena J. Brown

Valley of Vision

2009-11-12T12:46:00.001-05:00

Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly,
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold Thy glory.
Let me learn by paradox that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter Thy stars shine;
let me find Thy light in my darkness,
Thy life in my death,
Thy joy in my sorrow,
Thy grace in my sin,
Thy riches in my poverty,
Thy glory in my valley.

-Puritan Prayers, "Valley of Vision"

Greek words for Love.

2009-11-09T13:24:00.000-05:00

I learned from a retreat that in John 21, Jesus and Peter have a dialogue about "love" but in different meanings. Jesus asks Peter if he loved Him in "agape" love, which means fully committed and sacrificial love. Peter responds that he only loves in "phileo" to Jesus, which is like brotherly love. Jesus asks Peter again if Peter loves in "agape" love, but Peter responds again in "Phileo". Then Jesus finally asks Peter if Peter loves him in "phileo" and Peter responds, Yes in "Phileo".

This passage is so heartbreaking but it gives so much hope. Jesus reveals He is the one that can love us, unconditionally, fully committed, and sacrificially.

Jesus,
Thank You for taking the little that's left of me I can give to You.
Thank You for loving (AGAPE) me even though I can only love (PHILEO) You!!!

How GLORIOUS You are!

DJ
----

John 21
¹⁵When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love (AGAPE) me more than these?"
"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love (PHILEO) you."
Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

¹⁶Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love (AGAPE) me?"
He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love (PHILEO) you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."

¹⁷ The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love (PHILEO) me?"
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love (PHILEO) you."

My small group girls.

2009-11-06T23:18:00.000-05:00

LOVE.
<3
Aren't they cute? Ok but more than cuteness [no really like ADORABLE], I pray that these girls will look to the cross when all else fails. I pray that they will be strong in God, humble in heart, be wisdom-filled, have salvation as their helmet, and fight with sword of the spirit, which is the word of God [Ephesians 6]

Shining as Stars

2009-11-06T12:59:00.000-05:00

In our Wednesday IMAP group (Intimate Ministering and Praying), someone brought up this passage. I was really encouraged by it so I read it again. Jesus, I want to become blameless and pure, a child of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation. Help me to shine like stars, with joy, thanksgiving, fear, and trembling. But I am only able to shine because Jesus, You shined in my life first.

Philippians 2:12-17

¹²Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, ¹³for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

¹⁴Do everything without complaining or arguing, ¹⁵so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe ¹⁶as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. ¹⁷But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. ¹⁸So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

Thank you God...

This passage also reminds me of one of my favorite songs, "Shining" by Phil Wickham.

You guide me through the dark
You calm my fearful heart
I will rest in You
You give me perfect peace
You fill my deepest need
I will rest in You

God, shining like the sun
Let Your kingdom come
I want to be with You in Your presence
I'm here to give You praise
You take my breath away
And now I'm here with You in Your presence

Your kindness draws me in
Now I'm with You once again
I will rest in You
Oh God who reigns on high
To You alone I cry
I will rest in You

You are shining, You are shining
Your light surrounds me, Your light has found me

I miss my mom!

2009-11-05T11:41:00.001-05:00

LOL. I have a huge head here!

I realized I'm such a mama's girl. I heard from someone that parents' happiness is measured by your least happiest child. This case is so true for my mom. When I'm sad, my mom hurts for me. When I'm happy, she's so full of joy for me. My mom is the most compassionate woman in the world. I was a little stressed out yesterday so I called her and after listening to me complain for like forever she gently told me to trust in the Lord. Haha. I want to be even 50% of what my mom was, and that will still be good.

I think in the near future I'll be moving to California!
Maybe the future is nearer than I thought?

I want to, need to, pray this everyday.

2009-11-04T13:58:00.000-05:00

“Father, there is nothing I can do today that would make you love me more; nothing I failed to do yesterday made you love me less.”
  
“Father, your presence and approval are all I need today for everlasting joy.”  

“Father, as you have been gracious and a servant to me, so I will be to others.”  

“Father, everything the Gospel tells me about your intentions for my life, my family, and my world is TRUE. I will ask according to the generosity and power You revealed in the Gospel.”

This article said that "We must "believe our way into our feelings, and not feel our way into our beliefs."". I have to confess that since I grew up "churched" all my life, there's a lot of things that I am so called "confident" that I "know" or "heard of" or "seen". But deep inside, do I really believe? All of me? For all of Him?

Abba Father... I don't want to complacent.
I believe, help me overcome my unbelief. (Mark 9:24)

Time.

2009-11-03T16:43:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it's already November already. Today, I took pictures of playgrounds for a work project in the morning today....but I got carried away with taking pictures of the autumn trees and nature. Sometimes, I wish time could just sit still a little bit more so I could get my head on straight with whats actually happening. Sometimes, I wish time could go faster, like work right now...cannot get any slower. Hence, me blogging.

At the end of the day, I wonder if what I really want is everything to be in my control.

I hate being out of control.

Gotta learn to surrender.

Pokerface by Christopher Walken

2009-11-03T16:24:00.001-05:00

Love him.

T.O.Y.S.

2009-10-05T10:53:00.000-04:00

T.O.Y.S. is my small groups name :)

Take Off Your Sandals, like from Exodus 3:5!

⁴ When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!"

And Moses said, "Here I am."

⁵ "Do not come any closer," God said. "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground." ⁶ Then he said, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob." At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.

Love it. My small group is so creative!!!

Guard your heart!

2009-10-01T16:31:00.000-04:00

This article is directed to unmarried women, whether young and in their fathers' households, older and on their own, or widows who would like to remarry. The principle is that you must guard your heart so that it does not become entangled emotionally without the protection of a covenant. Many of these exhortations that follow may seem a trifle negative, but believe me, the results will be positive.

When a woman leaves her heart unguarded and becomes attached to the wrong man, she exposes herself to great hurt or harm. Many women, anxious to be married, respond to the first man who comes along and even allow themselves to become physically involved when they know better. It is easy to have convictions as long as you are not called upon to stand up for them, especially if you must stand up to a man you have allowed yourself to fall in love with. Never assume you are strong and can handle being alone with a man that you are attracted to. Remember, whoever he is, if he is not your husband, you have no business submitting to him in any area, especially if he wants you to engage in a little physical affection when there is no fence of covenantal protection around the relationship. Virginity is a priceless inheritance you bring into marriage.

You must guard your imagination if you want to guard your heart. Don't feed a lonely heart with cheesy romance novels or chick flicks and fantasize about the men or the relationships described. This can quickly become lust, lusting to be lusted after. Don't allow yourself to imagine someone is interested in you when he is just being friendly. Don't imagine that he had a tender look when he said hello to you, when he was really just giving you a polite greeting. In other words, do not develop wild crushes. If the man in question shows an interest elsewhere, you will be hurt, and depending on how much you indulged your imagination, you may be devastated. Be realistic about the men who show you attention. If you are too eager for a relationship, you can imagine he is godlier, funnier, sweeter, smarter, older, or taller than he really is. If you have to talk yourself into someone, you are not being realistic about this man. Don't get desperate! Don't allow yourself to get involved in an inappropriate relationship because you are lonely. Don't look for a man as a ticket out. You may want to move out or move on, but that is not a good reason to get married.

Just because a man shows an interest is no good reason to assume he is the one for you. There is no fire. Think about it. Get input from someone who knows you. Take your time. Don't fling yourself in his arms as soon as he shows his hand. Women are sometimes in love with being in love, longing for a relationship more than they long to please God. Marriage is not an end in itself; it is a means of glorifying God. There is one thing worse than being single: being married to the wrong man.

Cultivating male group friendships is a healthy alternative to the world's dating system, but we must not use these friendships to fill a void. Friendships can be sexually charged, and women are usually very ignorant about this. Friendships should not be intimate, but good-naturedly distant. Would you be able to maintain the friendship on an equal footing if you were married? If not, it is probably an inappropriate friendship. Women should have the kind of friendships with the brothers that are characterized by purity and propriety. If you have to alter your behavior after you are married, you have probably been behaving in an unwise or ungodly manner. This means you should not be spending one-on-one time with men (unless it is in the context of courtship), whether you are married or single. If you are going out for coffee and allowing men to pour out their troubles to you, this behavior will have to stop if you marry someone else. That tells me you should stop now.

Beware well-meaning friends. He's so good looking, they say, but you know he is also so ungodly. Don't encourage them by talking too much about your interests. Things have a funny way of getting back to the person. And if he isn't interested, you will just feel foolish, and you may get hurt.

Finally, when in doubt, throw it out. Do not stay in a relationship that you have doubts about. It is very unwise to marry someone hoping for changes in him. If you have concerns about his godliness, his character, his theology, his relationship to his parents, his lifestyle, or anything else, back off, and maybe you should back out. Of course you have protection in the counsel and advice of your parents, but be careful not to marry someone simply to please your parents. Surely your parents have good intentions, but you must be honest with them about your hesitations. I cannot imagine parents (if they are loving and godly) pressuring a daughter to marry someone she did not want to marry!

Do cultivate a biblical view of marriage. Do cultivate godly group friendships. Women can learn a lot about how men think from being friends with men in groups. Do cultivate a godly character in yourself because marriage amplifies all you are. Look for likemindedness in a man: do you agree doctrinally? Are you similar culturally? Is he attractive to you? Be realistic, trust God, and be content.

Nancy Wilson

Empire of light.

2009-09-30T23:17:00.000-04:00

Magritte is one of my favorite artists! How can you not look at this painting and not find hope? No? Is it just me?

Kat Sung.

2009-09-29T20:02:00.000-04:00

Kat left :( went back home.

I know it's not the end of our friendship or she moved to another country or anything extreme like that.

But I'll miss her.

I lived with her for four years! Tomorrow morning, I will still expect to hear her try to say something in Pinky voice, and as usual I'll tell her she's being annoying, and that she's like a little brother I never had. This is when she'll call be the b word. HAHA. This conversation barely changed for over four years.

Here's a trip down to memory lane/things I'll def miss!

-PINKY
I KNOW. I never thought I would end. here. LOL.

-WHEN KAT LIVED IN CHELSEA
Sara and I would visit her. One time, we slept over and watched NOTEBOOK and sara and kat bawled like a baby while I just kinda...laughed? LOL. They called me a DOHL (rock). And then a baby cockroach went by where I was sitting NICE.

-WHEN WE LIVED IN BROOKLYN, WILLIAMSBURG
We used to have like a million centipedes. One even fell on me. Here's evidence of me sars and kat trying to kill it -.- Or just Kat trying to record me sound like such a fob here. Plus I had a cold. GRR.

-WHEN SHE MOVED INTO THE ASTORIA APT
I think this is the climax of our friendship, dont you think Kat? This is when we really prayed together and really grew to be sisters in Christ for each other, as we were leading small group, growing to accept each other :)

-ELMO RIVER DANCING
HAHA

-BINKIE Both :) and :( but mostly :)

PICS

Kat! I pray that we will continue to grow in Christ, and that distance will strengthen us to pray even more for each other.

Missing you already!!!

DJ.

2009-09-29T15:36:00.001-04:00

What? When did Pandora start charging? Jerks!

From the land of Xanga to Blogger.

2009-09-29T13:57:00.000-04:00

I'm trying to transfer all my xanga entries unto here. Does anyone know how to do it?

2008-02-10T20:41:00.001-05:00

"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday." -American Beauty

Balance.

2008-02-10T19:57:00.000-05:00

Almost everything in life is about balancing in the pursuit of happiness. Not too rich but not too poor. Not too smart, not too dull. Not too different, but not so much the same as everybody else. Winter is too cold and summer too hot. A lot of light can burn you and no light at all is blinding.

Imbalance.

Jesus went to the cross and died for my sins so that I am saved.

It makes no sense at all and I will never understand it in its entirety, but that is the beautiful imbalance God knows and I know I need.

testing

2008-01-27T17:07:00.001-05:00

testing testing

mic test 1 2 3